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Ladies and Gentlemen, this was Week Number 5...
(To the tune of "Mambo No. 5")

One, Two, Three, Four, Five
There's a killer on the el but we still must ride
To the Loop Campus and Lincoln Park
Sometimes we even stop and talk to Mark...us-
Cinema, he's always late
He keeps us waiting, but thinks he's great

We've got Dekleva, Malcolm, Dahbur, and Sidle
As the quarter goes on, we're still bein' idle
So how many days do we have left my Lord
I think we deserve some kind of reward

A little bit of walking to the el
No, it's more like miles and miles, but hell
It's better than the pit we lived in last year
'Cause now we can see downtown when it's clear
A little bit of Ed Y**** is too much
Tells us what the word mensch means and such
We have to write a grant, but we are stuck
I guess that's just our dumb-ass luck

We go downtown
But then we have to frown
Good old Ed isn't there
We assume he don't care
Then here comes Dan
Asks if we can
Go in the door
Or sit on the floor
Watch the video
And know we will fail
So then it looks like Rog
Will get direct mail

We just want to
Find some big hot single boyfriends who
Have lots of dough
And will take us places
But only if they don't have ugly faces

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